Houston Blogs: Celeb Blog

Tron Legacy Review

I have so many thoughts coming out of my head after watching Tron Legacy I just have to spout them all out …

 

Visually stunning … one of the few films worth extra to see in 3-D.

 

Computers still can't trick us completely when it comes to portraying humans, thankfully. 

 

 

Where do you get a roasted pig in cyberspace, and what would it taste like?

 

More on the roasted pig question later.

 

Tron Legacy is much more than a sequel ... it's an evolution. Just as video games evolved from thick blocks of light and wire frames to today's animation that blurs the line of art and reality, this film takes the world of the first Tron and expands it exponentially to create an entire world that is compelling but, at times, a bit frustrating.

 

I remember being very excited about the first Tron when it was released in 1982. The first computer generated special effects ever put on film along with the weird glowing highlights on the characters costumes was dizzying. While most people understand how it's done now, back then it was magical and a wonder to see … too bad the mystical and theological subtext was such a turnoff for so many people. I watch the film for the first time in more than 20 years a few months ago to see if it held the same magic … it didn't. The visuals are kind of impressive (if you kept telling yourself 'good for their time') but the theological discussions with the programs and their belief in the 'users' were a bit heavy handed. And don't even get me started on the silly 'inside the grid' costume worn by the late Bernard Hughes (do a Google image search of his name and 'Dumont' and you'll see what I mean.) Forget about all that stuff, show us more light cycle battles and disc fights!

 

So it must have been risky for Disney to consider reentering the world of Tron. The first film was groundbreaking but didn't really burn up the box office and, at least with those I've talked to, the film isn't widely considered to be that good, even in hindsight, except for the special effects.

 

Tron Legacy hopes to change all of that. It's much more than a reboot, you can see they are trying to lay the groundwork for a new franchise, and I have to admit I'm curious to see where the writers will go from here.

 

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

 

Let's start with some Tron basics for those who haven't seen the first film. Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) was a whiz-kid computer game programmer whose desire to become his own boss put him at odds with the executives at Encom who stole his ideas as their own. Through the use of a laser and a lot of exposition, Flynn is zapped into 'the grid' (the term cyberspace had not yet been invented) where he must fight in gladiatorial-like games to survive while trying to take out the evil central processor and reclaim his own programs.

 

Tron Legacy starts about 7 years after the first film ended. Flynn is now a single father, raising his son, Sam, telling him bedtime stories about life on The Grid. It turns out Flynn is now a regular visitor to this digital world which he has been expanding with the help of Clu, a digital doppelganger who eventually turns on his creator.

 

Fast forward another 15 years … Sam is a frustrated daredevil living off of money from his father's company, but wanting nothing to do with it. One night Sam discovers a secret office in his father's old arcade and he is soon zapped into the grid. He is reunited with his father and a devoted follower, 'Quorra' (a wide-eyed Olivia Wilde) who team up to find a way home while trying to avoid Clu and his growing army.

 

The new Grid is slick, glossy and more dangerous. Light cycles are no longer limited to 90-degree turns, and sometimes the rules of gravity are suspended, allowing riders to chase each other upside-down on the roof, or even on the other side of the floor. There are also fighter jets with laser turrets, powerful tanks, roaring 'Recognizer' transport ships and massive transports that travel on beams of light.

 

Now for my 'issues.'

 

As you might guess, the Grid is visually stunning, but here's where the director gets into trouble … no one else seems amazed by what they see. Audiences need a good character they can relate with to connect them to extraordinary worlds. In Inception it was Ellen Page's character who marveled while learning the rules of manipulating people's imaginations. In Lord of the Rings it was Frodo, who soon realized the dangers lurking outside the Shire. In Tron Legacy we get a few fleeting moments of Sam trying to figure out exactly where he is at, but in no time at all he's done gawking, his fighting skills are unmatched and it's time to get on with his quest.

 

[I think this is a good place for a spoiler alert … if you don't want to know more about the film, I suggest skipping the next few paragraphs!]

 

What is really frustrating is the two of the most important moments of the film, Sam's induction into the Grid and his return to the real world, are totally skipped … illustrated only by a flash of white light! Where's the pixelization? Where's the recreation of physical matter? Where's the disorientation when he returns to the real world?

 

Also, in the first film there was some kind of logic about the world … you could almost imagine a world of small human-shaped programs running around the circuit boards in your desktops. But this time around there are programs hanging around for no reason at all. Why do programs need to see other programs fight? Why to programs want to gather inside a nightclub?

 

And then my biggest question … what did Flynn eat in the grid for 20 years? We see him, Sam and Quorra dining on a roast pig …Where the hell did that come from? Was it reproduced, like the food replicators on Star Trek?

 

And what exactly was Flynn's relationship with Quorra?

 

[End of the spoilers section!]

 

Welcome back … Now for the de-aging of Jeff Bridges. When we see Flynn interacting with his 12 year old son, and as the megalomaniacal Clu the film's special effect team pulled off an amazing trick: electronically return Bridges features to the way he looked when he was younger, graft the image onto a younger actor's body. The effect is a bit disturbing not because of how real it looks, but how quickly the eye can pick up on the elements that just don't look right. For me, it looked like Bridges always had a little bit of chewing tobacco between his lower lip and gum.

 

I hope kids flock to this film as much as I did when the first Tron comes out, but I can't guarantee their frustration won't fester like it has for me over the past 28 years.

 

Black Swan review

There is a moment early in Black Swan when you realize this is not going to be your average 'obsessed dancer' movie.  Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) sneaks into the trashed out dressing room of the former prima ballerina who has just stormed out after being told she was being replaced.  Nina cautiously reaches for a tube of lipstick and, as she opens it up, you hear the sound of another woman exhaling, as if the spirit of the previous owner were still contained inside. 

 

It should come as no surprise that director Darren Aronofsky uses audio clues as much as visual ones to bring us into Nina's deteriorating mind.  The first 10 minutes of his last film, The Wrestler, was little more than hearing Mickey Rourke grunt, groan, crack, creek and snort to convey the impact of years of abusing his body for his 'art.'  In much the same way Black Swan seems to be light on dialogue in favor of the sound of Nina's popping ankles and her ballet shoes scraping across the stage.

 

Nina is a ballerina whose whole life is consumed with dancing.  She lives with her mother, a former ballerina who dotes on her daughter with equal parts of love, support and frustration because of the career she left behind for her daughter.  This has turned Nina into a shy, mousey girl who practically jumps at her own shadow.  She is competing for the lead spot in a new production of Swan Lake.  For the uninitiated (like me), Swan Lake is the story of a princess who, because of a curse, becomes a swan by day and human at night.  Her curse can only be broken by true love, and just as she is about to find it, the prince is tricked into falling for a more seductive look-a-like, the black swan.  Realizing the curse can never be broken she drowns herself in the lake. 

 

That’s a pretty dark story to be told by women wearing tutus. 

 

The film's story parallels the ballet's tale.  Nina's doppelganger is Lily (Mila Kunis) a new dancer who is everything that Nina is not … adventurous, free-spirited and, even though she's not the most technically skilled dancer, she does everything with more heart.  That catches the eye of the demanding director, Thomas (Vincent Cassel) whose methods of teaching his prima ballerinas the art of seducing on stage leave Nina shaken. Threatened by her new challenger, Nina pushes herself to perfection, to the point where she may actually be turning into a swan on stage.

 

Aronofsky has created an amazing film showing the dark side of a world many never see, behind the scenes of professional ballet.  Is it accurate?  I wouldn’t know, but reading about Portman’s five-hour-a-day workouts in the six months leading up to the first day of filming on the show tells me it takes a certain level of obsession to meet the commitment required to be named the Swan Queen.  And for her commitment Portman has just pirouetted her way to the front of the Best Actress Oscar race.

 

(Okay, I admit that was really bad, I know, but I’m aiming for a ‘blurb.’ Ha!)

 

Harry Potter: Beginning of the end

If there were any doubt left that Harry Potter is more than just a movie and book series for kids, just wait until after the first 10 minutes of the first part of “The Deathly Hallows” and all doubt will be removed.   The scene: Severus Snape (masterfully played by Alan Rickman) rushes in to a large hall filled with the series' Big Bad, Voldemort, and his followers, the Death Eaters. (That actually sounds like a good name for a band!)   As Voldemort questions his minions about Potter's whereabouts a woman floats painfully above the table with fear in her eyes wondering if she will survive the next few minutes.   Spoiler alert: she doesn't.  With a flick of his wrist Voldemort strikes her down with a deadly spell while she begs Snape for help.  Then, for good measure, Voldemort's snake, Nagini, is sent to feed on her corpse.

 

As you might have surmised, this is a dark, dark film.

 

As it should be.  Even though this is the 7^th film in the series it's actually the “Empire Strikes Back” of the Potter-verse.  This is the game changer.   Like Luke Skywalker, Potter has lost his mentor Albus   Obi-Wan Dumbledore to the forces of evil and it's up to Sky-Potter to find his way to stop the most evil one of them all, Darth Voldemort.  He's joined on his quest by his wise-cracking partner Ron Solo, and a  young beauty, Princess Hermione.  The three of them join forces with the Order of the Rebellion. I'm starting to mix-up the two series, but I think you get the point.  In “The Deathly Hallows Part 1” Harry finally accepts his destiny: Only he can stop Voldemort, and it's not going to be easy.

 

This is not a film for the uninitiated, but I will try to give a little background.  Nearly 400 years ago the wizard and non-wizard (known as Muggle) world made a pact to separate.  The Muggle world  now believe witches, wizards, goblins and elves to be nothing more than fodder for fairy tales, not the very real threat that is encroaching on their safety.   Voldemort believes wizards are superior and aims to eliminate any who would suggest the two worlds could live together in peace and, even more horrifying, marry and have 'mudblood' offspring.  He and the Death Eaters have seized control of the Ministry of Magic and begun an inquisition to find who is a true wizard, and weed out the Muggles among them.

 

Genocide, murder, politics, vengeance … time to send the kids to bed.

 

In the last film we learned that Voldemort has ensured his immortality by breaking his soul into seven pieces, storing each pieces in random objects known as 'horcruxes' which are hidden around the world.  Harry and his friends are now on a quest to find and destroy the horcruxes, making Voldemort mortal again and then kill him.  The first three are a ring, a diary and a locket.  It's up to Harry, Hermione and Ron to figure out where Voldemort has hidden the others but, (another spoiler alert) by the time the film ends the trio don't have any more than they began with.  But that's not to say a lot doesn't happen in the film.  Potter and friends are constantly on the run, hiding in the woods and sleeping in a tent … not how they had imagined their last year as wizarding students.  Every time they leave their hiding place to search for another horcrux or a way to destroy it they find themselves fighting off Death Eaters who have managed to track them down.  For every two steps forward they are pushed three steps backwards and have even begun fighting with each other.

 

But the students also uncover another mystery, the story of the Deathly Hallows.  For kids in the magical world it's a fairy tale of three objects created by Death which had been given to three brothers.  The first was the Elder Wand, the most powerful wand in the world, the resurrection stone, which can bring people back to life, and an invisibility cloak that can hide the user from everyone … including Death.   The three objects would make a wizard truly invincible … but it's just a fairy tale, right?  However … Harry does own an invisibility cloak...

 

Author JK Rowling has pulled off an amazing feat with this character.  He has been allowed to grow and mature along with his readers, yet she has not cheated about the danger he was destined to face.  The darkness has been there since the beginning slowly growing until it completely took control with the exception of three young students who refuse to give in. 

 

So that’s the story … how’s the film? Fantastic.  Director David Yates has directed the past three Potter films, and in each one, it seems he is progressively pulling in the darkness in from the edges of the screen making each moment more and more claustrophobic.  Splitting the final 700-plus page book into two films was a great idea, however I think more could have been done to help those who haven’t read the book.  There are scenes from the novel when Harry, Ron and Hermione are sitting inside the tent brainstorming about where they might find the next horcrux … in the film we get long shots of them sitting around doing nothing and saying less. Also, we see from a distance Hermione reading her ‘Tales of  Beedle the Bard” but never realize there are clues inside the book until she announces it suddenly later in the film.  How about a shot of the logo of the Deathly Hallows catching her eye to foreshadow its explanation later on?  Foreshadowing is your friend. 

 

And on even a more petty level … talk faster!  There are times when the characters seem like they are trying for a dramatic pause but, when the audience is guessing dialogue long before it’s spoken on the screen, you have a pacing problem.  The odd pauses are like speed bumps that take away from the reality of the moment.  Hurry up!  I’m not expecting everyone to talk like they’re in an Aaron Sorkin movie but come on, we have a lot to get through!

 

But like I said, it’s a petty complaint.  This was a great film and I think I’ll start standing in line now for the big finale!

 

Inception review

In a summer movie season, when it seems like there is a rush to aim for the biggest common denominator in order to sell the most tickets (entertaining for kids, AND adults!) it's refreshing to finally have a film that is aimed squarely at grownups. That's not to say that Inception can't be enjoyed by kids ... visually Christopher Nolan has created an exciting world, with mind bending action sequences that walk the line between The Matrix and the latest Bond films. There is a lot to see but, even bigger than that, there is a lot to think about.

It's rare that I go into a movie knowing nearly nothing about it. From the trailers I picked up that Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is some kind of mental mercenary who can enter people's minds in order to steal secrets from their subconscious. And ...

Well, actually ... that's about it.

If you don't want to know any more about the film, I would recommend skipping the rest of this review (thanks for reading this far) and just go knowing that the summer isn't a total wasteland of bad sequels and 3-D headache-makers (Toy Story 3 and Despicable Me excluded.)

Okay, everyone else? Here we go.

As I mentioned, Cobb and his partner Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) are a pair of thieves who make their living stealing secrets from the subconscious. They use a silver briefcase filled with tubing and sedatives to connect their minds to their target. Once inside they try to convince the subject's internal avatar to give up the info either through intimidation, flattery or confusion. During a tryout, the duo try to get information from the mind of a rich and powerful businessman named Saito (Ken Watanabe.) They don't do it, but he's impressed enough to hire them for a special job: tor plant an idea in the mind of a business rival. The job is practically impossible and very risky but Cobb accepts the job because Saito can give Cobb what he wants the most, the chance to be reunited with his children.

Then, like all good heist films, Cobb begins to gather his team and formulate a plan. Along the way we learn the rules of the subconscious through Ariadne (Ellen Page) a young brilliant architect who soon learns how to create and manipulate entire worlds just through her imagination. Some of the basics: don't 'build' the dreamscape from your own memories because you might lose track of what is and is not real. Don't change the dreamscape too much or else you might upset the other 'figments' who will try to attack you to restore the memories. Plus, if you're killed in the dream world you simply wake up in the real world (sorry, Freddy Krueger!), but if you are injured you really feel it because pain is of the mind. You can also set up dreams within the dreams to get deeper into a subject's subconscious, and that's where this film really sets itself apart. Time moves at a different speed in every level. Five minutes of sleep feels like an hour in the dream world, which can feel like a full day in the second level and so on.
At one point there are four different action sequences each happening in different time frames ... each one has an impact in the level above it and, somewhat miraculously, director Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight) manages to keep it all in order for the audience. Additionally it all feels very real. Even when entire buildings are crumbling into the sea like eroding sand castles or freight trains pass through the center of a busy street there is a genuine feeling of danger and, unlike most movies about adventures in a dreamland, these characters have limits ... they can't fly, they can't turn into big monsters and they don't have superhuman strength.

And I haven't even mentioned the menacing presence of Cobb's wife who constantly thwarts Cobb's actions in the dreamscapes because ...

But, I think I've said too much already.

See it.

P.S. Ironically this is the one summer film that I think would really work well in 3D, but it was a relief not having to wear those glasses again!

The Last Airbender review

That's kind of cool ... but ... oh, nevermind.

That's what kept going through my mind while watching M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender.  The same director who built his career on building character, atmosphere and tension (with sometimes eye-rolling payoffs) has now brought us one of the most visually incredible yet shallow movies of the summer.

 

And it's in 3-D! More on that later (but quick note: Skip it!)

 

In "The Last Airbender" the world (either in the far future or alternate-universe-past) is split up between four tribes; Fire, Water, Earth and Air.  The tribes were at peace for a while thanks to the Avatar, the one person who has total control over the four elements. But the Avatar vanished about a hundred years ago and the Fire tribe has decided it wants to rule the world.

 

In each tribe there are 'Benders' people who can manipulate their tribe's element.  They are supposed to be rare except in the case when the script needs three or four or dozens of people who can control them telekinetically.  A teenage girl Waterbender named Katara and her non-bending but protective brother, Sokka, from the southern 'Water' tribe are out hunting when they find a large ice globe and inside is a mysterious bald child who appears to be the last of the 'Air' benders … and he may possibly be the Avatar.  The forces of the Fire tribe know that if they can control the Airbender (and the last Avatar) they can rule the world.

 

And so the story goes.

 

This is Shyamalan’s first movie that was not based on one of his original ideas.  It’s based on the Nickelodeon cartoon series Avatar: The Last Airbender (Avatar was apparently already being used by some other movie?) Adaptation is not Shyamalan’s strong suit.  The film is a big mess of half-conceived characters, unexplained plots and lost potential.  The best example of this:  When we first meet Aang, the airbender, he is in suspended animation along with his friend, Appa, a flying bison (I only knew that because I looked it up on Wikipedia.)  We see the beast’s furry sides and flat tail, but we don’t see its face until three-quarters into the movie.  Apparently Appa flies Aang, Katara and Sokka back to their village, but we don’t see that.  We don’t even know that Appa can fly until we see him playing with some of the children in the village.  Later, when the Fire nation is launching an attack on the Northern Water Tribe, Appa joins in the fight in what is supposed to be a big crowd cheering moment … but all he does is roar and we never see him again.  Over and over again we see cool things starting to happen and then it all falls apart.  It’s disheartening, really.  My nephews keep telling me I need to watch the series and I’m kind of glad I didn’t, because I didn’t know what I was missing. (I’ll leave it to other fanboy reviewers to details what was left out.)  It’s a shame because you can tell that there are some very cool ideas here.

 

Shyamalan has bit off more than he can chew.  Not only is this his first big special FX film, it’s also his first martial arts film and it seems like all of his focus was on the look, but not the script. 

 

Now to the 3-D.  Once again we have a 2-D film that has been rushed through the process of adding a third demension to the film's detriment.  This film was not originally filmed with 3-D in mind ... it was pretty much an afterhtought which became a priority after the success of that other "Avatar" film.  Thankfully the process was better done than "Clash Of The Titans" which was painful ... but not much better.  There are still the few odd scenes when characters and scenery seem flat and artificially distanced from the objects on the background.  There are also a couple of scenes filmed with the characters in the foreground out of of focus while characters in the background are in focus ... a classic way of projecting depth on 2-D screen.  It just looks weird in 3-D ... once again like watching the film through a ViewMaster.  Save the extra money and watch the film as it was intended.

Lost finale blog ... Really!?

I'm going to call it the Six Season Blink.

 

I should trademark that phrase, actually!  Lost began with a closed eye opening, and ended with an open eye closing, and in the blink of an eye it was all over.  Has it really been six years?  I have too many disjointed thoughts about the finale of Lost that I think I'll just throw out a few first impressions and maybe I'll write back in a couple of days when I've had time to digest it all.

 

My first thought are these phrases:

"It only ends once, everything else is just progress." - Jacob

"Every question I answer will just bring you to another question,." - The Other Mother

"Whatever happened, happened." - Daniel Faraday

 

That's pretty much all you need to know about the series.  Sure there are a ton of unanswered mysteries raised during the past six years, but it doesn't really matter ... because it's all progress to the final ending, right? Right!?

 

Maybe not.

 

Let me start by saying I enjoyed the finale.  I thought it was full of action and came to a somewhat satisfying and heartbreaking conclusion. 

 

Now for my quibbles and questions.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears the flash-sideways world was the product of the castaways collective conciousness ... a place where they could be reunited after their deaths to connect with the people who matter the most during their lives.  Right? (I liked the image of the stained glass window in the church with the symbols of the world's biggest religions which suggested the flash-sideways world is open to everyone.) But in a way doesn't that kind of make that half of the final season a bit of a let down?  The only reality that mattered is the one of the island.  The flash-sideways is essentially a dream world where things work out fine in the end, but it doesn't matter!  All that matters is that Desmond and Jack give their lives to kill MIB/Locke and keep him from leaving the island while Lapidus, Miles, Alpert, Sawyer, Kate and Claire fly off in the least-probable airline flight ever. Everyone else who died in the past six years is dead and the happy endings in the flash-sideways are as genuine as that dream I had the other day where I had Spider-man's powers. (I've had more interesting dreams, but that was probably the only one I could get away with talking about in a blog on my station's website!)  Have you ever had anyone tell you about a cool dream they've had?  Have you ever really cared about what happened to them in a dream?  Unless you are trying to assure them that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar nobody really wants to hear about the cool things you've done in a dream BECAUSE IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER! 

 

Okay, now, as I type, I think I'm starting to get frustrated. 

Should I feel happy that Jin and Sun are together and expecting? Nope, doesn't matter!

Claire and Charlie are together and anxious to start raising together.  Good news? Doesn't matter!

Sawyer and Juliet are together again, and there could be trouble because she's married to Jack.  Should we be worried? NO, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER! 

 

So while we spent all this time in the flash-sideways world there were a ton of 'real world' mysteries still left unsolved:

Why did the Dharma Initiative bring polar bears to the island?  Why not other animals?

Why did Pierre Chang change his name for every one of the Dharma orientation films?

Why was the cave that held the donkey wheel frozen, and why does accessing the light in that spot transport a person to Tunisia?

Why can't the SM cross the sonic fence or a line of ashes?

How does/did the pool inside the temple ressurect people, and what happened to Sayid after he was dunked in it?

How long did the Other Mother watch over the island?

There are dozens more questions just like this that we will never have answered ... and then a couple new ones presented last night:

If the MIB is totally dead, why does the island need a watcher anymore?  How long did Hurley and Ben have to work together? (Actually that could be a fantastic spin-off! Like the Odd Couple but on an island!)

 

Now you can tell me that those questions don't matter but for me they are the ones that matter the most because those happened in the real world!  The reason the Flashbacks and Flash-Forwards worked so well was because everything was connected.  The things that happened in the castaways past affected the way they dealt with things on the island.  The Flash-Forward season mattered because it worked as a double mystery; how did the Oceanic 6 get off the island and how will they get back.  But this season all of the drama, tension and fears from the Flash-Sideways were just red herrings meant to keep viewers on their toes, but ultimately that reality had less substance than the Smoke Monster.

 

Like I said, these are just first impressions and maybe I'll see things differently when my 20/20 hindsight kicks in.

 

P.S. I've had two people tell me they think the entire show, island and all, was nothing more than Jack dying, sort of like the Tim Robbins film Jacob's Ladder.   I respectfully disagree, but it makes me wonder ...

Shrek Forever After

Stop me if you've heard this one before:

There's an ogre, and he's kind of a grump, and he likes his privacy, and circumstances beyond his control force him out of his comfort zone, and he fights against it but comes to learn that his original lifestyle wasn't all that great to begin with.

Now tell me ... which Shrek film was I describing? ALL OF THEM. Let's get a little more specific.

Shrek: Ogre goes to a big castle to get the fairy tale creatures out of his swamp.
Shrek 2: Ogre goes to a big castle to meet the parents of his new girlfriend, but all he wants to do is return to his swamp.
Shrek The Third: Ogre leaves a big castle so he can find another heir to take the throne so he can get back to the swamp.

Get it!? Shrek just wants to be an ogre and live in a swamp. Leave the poor guy alone! Alas, there is one more story to tell before he can all live happily ever after. Now it may sound like I'm really getting ready for a scathing review but let me say this ... I really liked this film and laughed nearly the entire time. It's far better than the third and while it may not be able to live up to the magic of the first (an almost impossible feat considering that is when we were first introduced to this world) it comes pretty darn close.

In Shrek 4 the big green guy is living a life of domestic bliss, finally in his swamp, surrounded by his loving wife, three precious babies and his good friends Donkey and Dragon and their bizarre hybrid children who seem to defy all laws of nature. The problem this time? Things are getting redundant. Wake up early, feed the kids, change the kids, visit with the friends, eat dinner, go to sleep ... then repeat. Ultimately he starts wishing he were a bachelor again, living on his own ... in the swamp. I guess even ogres can have a mid-life crisis!

After realizing that no one is scared of him anymore, his swamp has become a tourist attraction and his ogre roar has become a novelty act, Shrek confesses to his wife, Fiona, that he wishes things were like they used to be, before he rescued her from the dragon's keep. Not a good thing to say. Enter Rumpelstiltskin (brilliantly voiced by animator Walt Dorhn whose performances during production won him the part). He makes a deal with Shrek that will allow Shrek to become a true ogre again for just one day. But buried deep in the fine print, Shrek must give up one day from his past. Buried even further in the even finer print ... Shrek gives up the day he was born. So while Shrek is thrilled to be able to scare villagers again, he realized that everyone he knows has changed because he was never born: Donkey doesn't know him; Puss-in-Boots is an overfed house cat who shares his milk with mice; and Fiona has become the leader of an ogre resistance force fighting against Rumpelstiltskin who has taken control of Far Far Away along with an army of witches. Now Shrek has only one day to woo Fiona and regain control of the land.

Obviously it's a rip of the 'It's a Wonderful Life' concept, but it's a great way to freshen up characters who have become almost too familiar. One of the funniest changes involves Gingerbread Man, who has been turned into a warrior who uses a broken lollipop to fight off animal crackers in a gladiator arena. Even better ... it's a quick gag. Rather than spending time on these 'fan favorite' side characters the writers uses them for a couple quick hit-and-run jokes and gives us a few all new characters that freshen up the screen. I wouldn't even dream of revealing who Rumpel calls on to get rid of Shrek, but it's an ingenious choice and very true to the 'Shrek' world of fractured fairy tales.

One last note. Skip the 3D. It's well done, and it works but, more than anything, it's unnecessary. I can't think of any one moment in the film that took my breath away or made me feel grateful that I saw it in an extra dimensions.

Lost Blog: The Sides Have Been Set

Just when you start to feel sorry for the guy he goes and slashes an innocent woman's throat.

 

From the first episode the game was laid out for us ... black versus white.  That was what Locke told Walt when he was teaching him how to play backgammon after the crash of Oceanic 815 and ever since then (especially in this final season) the black/white imagery has been crammed down our throats.  For a while it looked like things weren't going to be so cut-and-dried.  When we met Jacob and the Man In Black we assumed they were the embodiments of good and evil, but last week we learned the two men, who were brothers, were both lied to ever since they were children, and all the MIB ever wanted was to see what was across the sea.  You almost felt sorry for him ...

 

And then the MIB/Locke decided to pull his knife and cut Zoe's throat.

 

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself.  After last week's brief 'origin story' episode we reconnect with all the remaining castaways on the island and in the flash-sideways world.  Let's start with the flash-sideways.  Desmond continues to find ways to pull all of the Oceanic passengers together so that they can become aware of the other realities.  Earlier in the season he ran over Locke to send him to the hospital to see Jack.  Then last night he beat up Ben in the school parking lot, and turned himself in for the earlier hit-and-run so he could help Kate and Sayid break out of jail.  Hasn't this guy ever heard of Evite?  Whatever ... he seems to be having some effect though; Hurley seems to be completely aware of both realities (since he recognized Anna Lucia), and Ben had flashes of a previous pummeling at the hands of Desmond on the dock from Season 5.  We'll see what happens when he gets everyone to the Widmore's big party.  (Oooh!  What if the entire series ends with everyone at the party happy and singing "I'm A Believer" like at the end of Shrek! Wouldn't that be cool?  Hello?)

 

Meanwhile, back on the island ...

 

Things are not going well. Jack, Hurley, Kate and Sawyer are still mourning the loss of Sun and Jin in the sub, but set out to find Desmond who was left alive at the bottom of a well by Sayid.   Teen Jacob steals his own ashes from Hurley and tells him to bring everyone together so he can give them answers.  For some reason that I haven't fully figured out (but I'm sure someone will have a good theory) everyone can see Adult Jacob now, and he sits them around the fire. FINALLY!  This is going to be great!  We're finally going to get some of the answers we've been waiting for!  Okay, Jacob .. whatcha got?

 

Locke is evil and can't be allowed to get off the island (we knew that.)

There's a tunnel full of light at the center of the energy that needs to be protected (we knew that, too.)

He brought everyone to the island because he needed someone to take over for him (still waiting for the big OMG reveal.)

He created the Smoke Monster ... (really, is this what we're waiting for?)

The only reason he crossed Kate off the list of candidates was because she had become a 'mom' by caring for Aaron (well, that's something, at least.)

 

Okay, so I guess the big tell-all was really meant more for the castaways than the viewers, but come on!  Give us something more!  And how anti-climactic was it when Jack stood up and said that he would take over for Jacob?  What, no arguing from Hurley or Kate?  Sawyer doesn't want to do a little I'm-as-good-as-Jack posturing?  When I'm at a dinner and someone offers to pick up the check, I at least reach for my pocket to act like I'm going to try and pay (but I somehow left my credit card at home.  Sorry!) 

 

And that's it ... the new 'white' has been assigned.

 

Now to the dark side.   It's been about three or four episodes since we have seen Ben, Richard and Miles who were looking for ways to blow up the plane to keep the MIB from leaving the island.  They arrive in Dharma-ville to get some of the C4 that Ben has stashed away and find Zoe and Widmore there at the same time.  As they argue about their next step, the MIB/Locke comes for a visit.  Richard tries to go talk with him but is thrown into a tree.  Miles run into the jungle, while Widmore and Zoe hid in a secret closet.  Ben steps outside to talk with MIB/Locke (a scene that reminded me a lot of the conversation between Bill and the Bride in Kill Bill 2 before the big slaughter).  He wants Ben to kill a few people and, when he leaves, Ben can have control of the island.  Ben agrees and tells MIB/Locke where Widmore and Zoe are hiding.  And then it happens ... without hesitation MIB/Locke slashes Zoe's throat and any sympathy we have for him evaporates in a puff of smoke (get it?!)  MIB/Locke promises Widmore that he won't kill Penny if he tells him more about Desmond's plans, but as Widmore whispers the information he is shot dead by Ben.  It appears he's still pretty mad that Widmore's men killed Alex, and he still wants Penny's life as payback.

 

And now we have the new 'black.'

 

So the sides have been set ... but it appears the good guys may have an advantage because they apparently got to Desmond first.

 

So a few unanswered questions ...

Why did Widmore bring a geophysicist (Zoe) to the island?  She didn’t seem to do anything other than wear those geeky glasses really well and then she got killed.  Almost as pointless as when Sun lost her ability to speak English.

 

Will  MIB/Locke successfully destroy the island? We saw the island at the bottom of the ocean at the beginning of the season.

 

And are we ever going to see MIB/Locke turn into the SM?  I’m sure it would be cheesy but I really, really want to see it!

Lost Blog: Only 210 minutes left!

Okay ... raise your hands if the biggest question you have after this week's episode is 'How the heck are they going to answer all these questions in the next three and a half hours?'  Why are they still introducing new characters?

 

I have so many thoughts (most of them incoherent) after this week's episode of Lost. 

First: Allison Janey as Jacob and MIB's 'Mom.'  For me Janey will always be White House Spokesperson CJ Craig from The West Wing (and watching her deliver twin brothers made me remember the post-9/11 episode of TWW where the First Lady tried to explain the conflict between Arabic and Jewish descendants by talking about the Old Testament and Abraham's sons, Isaac and Ishmael.  Man, was that a preachy episode, or what? But I digress.)
The episode is set in 'Roman' times, something I know only because I read it on Lostpedia.com (http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Across_the_Sea).  Yet another ship has cracked up near the island and we see a very pregnant woman wash up on the beach.  She is Claudia.  She's separated from the other people on the boat and doesn't realize she's carrying twins.   She is rescued by Janey's  unnamed character (who I'll just call CJ from here on) who helps deliver the two boys.  Claudia names the first one Jacob, but realizes she didn't have a name picked for the second boy.  But before she can pick one CJ picks up a rock and kills her and raises the boys as her own.  Why does she do that? How long has she been on the island?  Did she lose a kid and now suffers from the same paranoid delusions that affected Rousseau and Claire?

And it is at this point when I finally, after 5.75 seasons, join in with skeptics who say ... GET ON WITH IT! There are only 210 minutes left! Stop introducing new characters to create new mysteries and give us some answers! 

 

Of course we'll probably never get those answers. Why? CJ says it herself "If I give you an answer it will only bring up more questions." That is probably the best thing the writers could have ever written about this show.  Think about it ... have you ever had a conversation with a 4 year old who keeps asking, "Why?" to everything you say? 

 

Man: I'm feeling tired.

Kid: Why?

Man: I didn't sleep well last night.

Kid: Why?

Man: My mind kept thinking about work.

Kid: Why?

Man: Because I have a lot of work to do when I go into the office today.

Kid: Why?

Man: Because I didn't get it all finished yesterday.

Kid: Why?

Man: Stop talking and eat your cereal!

 

See what I mean?  We're not meant to get all of the answers and I think I have finally come to accept that we will still have a ton of questions even after the May 23rd finale.

However, there were a few answers to be found:

We learned that Jacob and the MIB are twin brothers, and were born just as human a the rest of us.  However ...

We learned their immortality was given to them by CJ (How? Stop talking and eat your cereal!)

We learned the MIB always wondered about life off the island while Jacob accepted that the island was, pretty much, all there is.

We learned the crew members that crashed with the Jacob and MIB's real mother are the ones who learned about and began to research the island's electromagnetic energies.

We learned the MIB helped install the so-called 'donkey wheel' to create an opening to the island's electromagnetic 'light' that he thinks will allow him to leave the island.

The 'light' was always a secret that CJ felt she had to protect and when she realized the MIB had found an access point other than the one she knew about she knocks out the MIB and kills everyone in the camp. When MIB realizes she has done this he hunts her down and kills her, but he is then beaten up by Jacob who tosses him in the river which sweeps him into the island's inner light and ... taa daa ... the Smoke Monster is born.   My original theory was that the SM was actually made up of the MIB's individual cells which he was able to break apart and fly around the island.  But it turns out it the island's light separates the SM from the MIB, and the MIB's body is left behind.  Jacob lays his twin brother next to CJ  ... and now we know who were the Adam and Eve skeletons shown to us in the first season.

Disappointing?  A little ... I had been hoping the skeletons would have been Jin and Sun whose bodies would have somehow been sent back in time and placed in the cave, but since all the time jumping ended last season (or was it two seasons ago?) this is as good of an explanation as anything.

So what's next?  The title of the next episode is 'What They Died For', which I believe means we will finally figure out the nature of the true 'evil' that Jacob and the island were keeping from the rest of the world. 

 

That's probably the biggest question of the entire series, even if we didn't know we had to ask it until 6 episodes ago!

Iron Man 2: More Metal Than You Can Imagine!

Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) has a problem.

 

Correction.

 

Tony Stark IS a problem.  He's richer than ever, he can have any woman he wants and he has a super cool metal suit that makes him into a superhero.

 

I can relate.

 

Okay, that's not true, but I also like to think about what it would be like to win the lottery so forgive my indulgence if, every now and then, I wish to be Tony Stark, too.

 

Let's start over.

 

Tony Stark IS a problem.  Now that he has admitted to being Iron Man and become a one-man peacemaker there is no one who can keep him from indulging in whatever his glow-in-the-dark heart desires.  Use the suit to go on a donut run? Check.  Jump into a Formula 1 to test his skills on in the Monaco Grand Prix? Check.  Mock a powerful senator who is hell bent on using the Iron Man suit as a template for an unstoppable military force?  Check.  But there is something he can't check off the list ... the palladium that he uses to power the 'arc reactor' in his chest is also poisoning him and, unless he can find an alternate source of energy, he won't live long enough to make any more sequels.  Knowing that the end is near Stark is letting it all hang out, including getting drunk while in the Iron Man suit and skeet shooting champagne bottles during his birthday party.  (I once had a few too many during one of my birthday parties and tried to impress my guests with magic tricks but ended up giving away all of the secrets.  I told you I could relate!)

 

Stark is being hunted by Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke), the son of a Russian physicist who worked with Stark's father on the original arc reactor.  Vanko's father was deported back to Russia and died in poverty and always believed Stark's father was the reason for his misfortune.  Vanko uses his skills, his own version of an arc reactor and an apparent love of whips to become the villain known to comic book fans as Whiplash. 

 

But Stark has other things to worry about.  His best friend Lt. Colonel James 'Rhodey' Rhodes (Don Cheadle) is starting to realize that Stark is getting too reckless and selfish with the Iron Man technology, and that it needs to be put in the hands of someone a little more responsible.  Rhodey takes an earlier model of the Iron Man suit and brings it to his superiors who quickly turn it over to ...

 

Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), a rival inventor who is constantly in Stark's shadow when it comes to his money, his technology and his popularity with the ladies.  Hammer is desperate to secure a government contract and has been trying to create his own mechanical suit that won't permanently injure the soldiers he sticks inside.  When Hammer witnesses Whiplash's showdown with Iron Man on the Monaco speedway he realizes that he has found the man that can put him over the top.

 

Does that seem like a lot?  I haven't even brought up Stark's platonic, but heating up, relationship with his assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) who he promotes to CEO; Nick Fury's (Samuel L. Jackson) ongoing attempts to recruit Stark into the 'Avengers Initiative'; and Natalie Rushman (Scarlett Johansson) the hot new lawyer whose fighting skills are as dangerous as the curves she displays in her too-tight-for-the-workplace dresses.

 

Truth be told, it's not really that complicated.  Iron Man 2 is a great kick-off to the summer movie season.  Like most sequels it's not as good as the first.  My complaints are mostly petty, but here they are.

 

First: the dialogue.  Downey is a master at making every script sound like improv.  He always seems to be saying three times as many words as I'm sure the writers ever typed into their computers.  This time, however, everyone is joining in on the game. It becomes distracting after a while because I know the characters are talking about something important, but I can't actually understand it.  It's like watching The View!  It does work best, however, when you see Rockwell trying to keep up and failing because his character is just so envious of Stark.

 

Second: Jackson's interpretation of Nick Fury.  (Note: this complaint will really only matter to comic book fans.)  Fury was always no-nonsense, gruff and commanding.  Jackson had it right during his 10-second cameo in the 'after-the-credits' bonus scene in the first film. (Hint: there's another bonus scene after the credits in this one, too!) But now he's playing Fury almost too loose. Honestly, I thought he sounded more like Jules from Pulp Fiction this time around.  I was expecting him to pull out his Bad MF wallet during the restaurant scene.

 

Third: Fight cinematography.  The scenes with Johansson as the Black Widow are nearly unwatchable.  There's a lot of great action, but someone set the camera shutter on 'high' and it's like watching the sequence with a strobe light on.  Also, why is nearly every Iron Man battle at night?  My favorite sequence in the first film was the dogfight with the fighter jets in broad daylight.  This time around there's so much fast flying and bright explosions it's almost impossible to see the suit in action. 

 

Finally (spoiler alert) I'm done with Iron Man fighting with other iron men ... the Big Bads of both films have had powersuits that supposedly rival Stark's creation.  The Marvel Universe is a big place ... let's take on a mutant or two!

Lost Blog: And then there were ...

If you haven't seen this week's episode, stop reading now, get over to Hulu and come back in 45 minutes because ... O ... M ... G!

 

First of all let me take a moment to say ... CALLED IT!  I knew that Sayid would not make it to the end of the series.  The pile of dead bodies he left in his wake after emerging from the 'resurrection' pool in the temple was just too big to go unpunished.  I also predicted that he would go out in an act of self-sacrifice, and I guess taking the ticking time-bomb to the other side of the sub qualifies, but I didn't expect him to take others with him.  Which leads me to say ...

 

RIP Jin and Sun.  I really expected that at least one of these two crazy love-struck kids to make it to the end.  I was really expecting that Sun would tell Jin to leave the sinking sub for the sake of their child, to make sure their daughter would not grow up an orphan, but, alas, no.  (Speaking of Orphan.  I just saw that movie last month.  Have you seen it? Creepy!  But I digress.)  I was pretty moved by how Jack, Kate and Hurley openly wept over their death.  I guess after six years of violence and death it was time for them all to have at least one good cry over someone's passing.  

 

Now comes this question ... what, exactly, are the rules for the candidates?  The MIB/Locke can't be directly responsible for their deaths, and they can't kill themselves, right? So if Sawyer had never touched the bomb, and if Sayid hadn't run away with it, it probably never would have gone off ... I think. Considering that one of the Kwon's was a prospective candidate to take over Jacob's job 'protecting' the island, I thought at least one of them would have survived (there's always the daughter, but with just two more episodes before the big 2-and-a-half hour finale I think that might be a bit of a stretch.)

 

Back in the 'real' world, we learn the reason that Locke doesn't want to walk again ... after getting his pilot's license he took his father, Anthony Cooper (the real Sawyer that Sawyer is chasing), up in a small plane for his inaugural flight and it crashed, leaving Locke in a wheelchair and his father with severe brain damage.  Jack is starting to realize that the passengers of Oceanic 815 are almost too closely connected to be coincidence.  In effort to convince John Locke to agree to the surgery that could help him walk again he meets Bernard, the dentist, who recognizes him from the plane.  Jack also learns that step-sister Claire was on the flight.  Jack is becoming a believer in both realities ... BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?  

 

As the bodies start piling up in the 'island' world and the passengers begin connecting again in the 'real' world the writers are definitely headed for an ending, but what do you think will happen next?  I imagine that at some point one of the realities will have to cease to exist, but which one will prevail.  Sayid told Jack that Desmond is the key. (and is there anyone who thought Sayid killed Desmond? Didn't think so.)  My thoughts: Desmond will learn how to control his ability to see both realities and somehow show the castaways that Juliette's atom-bomb really was the reset button that Daniel Faraday predicted ... even though it reset their lives in 1977, not 2004 as they had expected.   I don't think they will be able to vanish into the 'real world' but will probably accept that if they die on the island they know their spirits will live on in the better ... no,  no, no ... forget all of that!  Too cheesy ... I guess that's why I'm just blogging about this show and not writing it!

CB Kareem Jackson ready to step right in...

OK, I know a lot of you said Kareem Who?, but the Texans had Alabama's Kareem Jackson targeted as the cornerback they wanted.   Jackson a three year starter with the Tide brings in the type of experience in a big program that should translate into the NFL.     Playing under Nick Saben has Jackson NFL ready and that's what the Texans are banking on. 

I had to chance to sit down with Jackson today, he comes across as a grounded young man one hungry to prove he can play on the big stage.   His family, Dad Hezekiak, Mom, Rossalyn and Big Sis, Crystalynn are down to earth and living a dream, especially his Dad.  More than 100 family and friends enjoying Kareem's Draft Day experience.

Look for Jackson to be in the starting lineup when the Texans Kick off the season against the Colts. Jackson is looking forward to getting his feet wet against Peyton Manning.

Bob Slovak

Lost Blog: All of the loose ends are coming together ... kind of.

As the final minutes of 'Lost' tick down, we have finally been presented with an episode that gives more answers than questions.

 

First, a real quick recap, starting with the 'Flash-Sideways' world.

 

All of our familiar castaways are finally coming together in the parallell universe;  Sawyer is interrogating Kate before he and Miles arrest Sayid, who was involved in the restaurant shooting that lead to Sun and Jin being in the same hospital as Locke, who is being operated on by Jack, who just realized Claire is his step-sister but only because Desmon pointed her to the lawyer, Ilana, who is handling Jack’s father’s will ... I think I got everyone. 

 

So how does that matter in the 'Island Still Exists' Universe? No idea.

 

On the Island (I've decide to capitalize the island because it is more than just a background, it's been a full-blown character since about the end of the third season) ... Locke is gathering the 'candidates' so he can leave the Island, but first he dispatches Sayid (RIP, I promise you!) to kill Desmond who is sitting at the bottom of the well, while Sawyer rallies Kate, Jack, Sun and Hurley (and stowaway Claire) to Hydra Island so they can unite with Widmore to escape ... 

 

Honestly, if you are asking for a scorecard, it’s really too late now!

 

I think it all boils down to this ... the Man In Black/Smoke Monster/Locke can only escape from The Island if he drags all of the Island's watchers along with him.  If Jacob is to be believed, the Island Watchers are the only things keeping the Smoke Monster from spreading his 'evil' around the world.  Although the consequence of the 'evil' is up for debate ... right?  What would the SM do if he got out, really?  Would he screw with people's minds one-by-one, or toss them about, killing them by blunt force trauma?  Will he unite with Houston's smog and randomly cause accidents along the Southwest Freeway and make me even later to work?

 

Some of the ‘solved’ mysteries: The SM/MIB can only take on the image of someone who is dead on the island.  That’s why he can only look like Locke now (although in an earlier episode Jacob said he wouldn’t be able to change anymore), and it also explains why Jack saw his father walking around after the crash in the first episode.  SM/MIB/Locke says he did that to lead the Oceanic 815 survivors to fresh water.

 

So here are a few parting questions:

Exactly what is Desmond's purpose? Is his knowledge of the two realities guiding him to make sure all of the 'What If ...' storylines are tied up, or will he, somehow, merge the two realities?

Did Desmond run over Locke because he knew that in the ‘Island’ reality Locke wanted to kill him? Or was he just making sure Locke was sent to the same hospital where Jack works?

Exactly how does the sonic fence affect the SM, and why are the castaways now being held hostage by Whitmore?

And what’s up with this ‘Dural sack’ that Jack keeps having to operate on?

 

Only four episodes left!  My doctor told me to watch my blood pressure … I think I’ll have to go in for another checkup after the FIVE HOURS of Lost on the series finale night! Woo Hoo!

 

Lost Blog: Desmond is my constant.

In fact Desmond seems to be the one constant in this whole darn program! 

 

I have always felt that Desmond was the most interesting character in the entire Lost series, even though we really didn't get to know him until the second season. He was a monk and a military man, devoted to do whatever it took to be with his true love, Penny Widmore.  Near the end of Season 4, when Desmond was rescued by Penny along with the Oceanic Six I got this odd feeling that the entire series was really just about their love story.

 

Alas ... no.

 

Desmond is just another piece of the puzzle in the mysteries of the Island ... but he's a big piece.  If this were Chess, he would be, at least, the rook. He's a Full House in Poker, the 'Advance To Go' card in Monopoly, the hard-to-find Destroyer in Battleship ... he's the game changer.

 

In this episode we are reminded that he is the only person to survive, upclose, two major electromagnetic disasters, which would kill anyone else.  The first time was when he initiated the Failsafe after Locke refused to type in the numbers that kept the electromagnetic energy in check.  After that Desmond woke up naked in the jungle and somehow had the ability to see into the future.

 

The second time was when lightning struck near the helicopter between the island and the freighter in Season 4, and his conciousness flashbacked between his body in 1996 and 2004.  (Full disclosure ... I only remember these things because of the wonderful folks at Lostpedia! http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Desmond_Hume)

 

Desmond appears to be a bridge between the parallel universes which were split when Juliette set off the bomb.   In the reality where Oceanic 815 landed safely he has become Charles Widmore's right hand man, but has lost his passion for things of the heart.  Actually the passion is there, in his conciousness, which is, once again, jumping between the two realities.

 

So here are the new questions:

Why can Desmond survive all of those magnetic explosions?

Even if he is a bridge between the two realities, how does that benefit Widmore?

Why does Eloise Widmore seem to know about the alternate realities?

How in the world can the producers wrap this up in 6 episodes?

 

Last week the series producers said that after this week's episode the conversation would change ...and it has ... but answers are as elusive as ever.

 

P.S. Sayid, once again, kills a man in cold blood.  I think we will soon find out that he's really not Sayid at all and, once again, I predict that he will not survive through the end.  Kind of a shame that we didn't really get to say goodbye to the real Sayid.

Clash of the Titans

In the list of films from the '80s that are deserving of a remake or a sequel, I would say Clash of the Titans was a good choice (another Beverly Hills Cop? Not very interested.)  The world of Greek Gods, blind witches, flying horses, Medusa and, of course, the Kraken, has been surprisingly overlooked in the theaters.  I know the original Clash set the bar pretty high, but there's a lot of mythology out there, right? Why haven't we seen more? 

 

Before I go any further I should echo what nearly every other reviewer is saying about this film, and I'll say it in all caps for emphasis: DO NOT SEE THIS FILM IN 3-D! SAVE YOUR FOUR BUCKS FOR A SHOT OF SODA AND WATCH IT IN 2-D!  More on the reason why later.

 

When the original Clash came out in 1981 was thrilling to me, as it was to the rest of my 6th grade friends ... but even then I knew that something more could be done.  I loved Ray Harryhausen's stop-action monsters, and it was amazing to see them interacting with live actors, but my brain wouldn't let me really believe what I was seeing.  Then there was Bilbo, the mechanical owl ... even back then I knew it was silly and cheesy, and with his beeps and chirps I knew he was kind of a knock-off of R2-D2.  Despite all this I still loved the film because it was fun, and thrilling, and you could really tell that Perseus was desperate to do whatever it took to save the love of his life, Andromeda.

 

But now ... not so much.

 

This time around Perseus does not grow up knowing he is the son of Zeus.  Instead he is the adopted son of a fisherman who found the boy with his dead mother inside a locked coffin floating in the sea.  He doesn't realize he is a demi-god until about 30 minutes into the film and it makes him mad.  Why? Because he grew up hearing his dad bad-mouthing the gods for years and witnessed Hades kill his family in cold blood.   Fair enough.

 

When Hades threatens the city of Argos he sees it as his opportunity to strike back ... so now it becomes a vengeance tale rather than a love story.  I think this is where the film makes its biggest mistake.  The updates and upgrades to the creatures is fantastic.  Olympus is amazing, the fight with the giant scorpions is gritty and watching Medusa play cat-and-mouse with the soldiers before turning them into stone is just as exciting as it was in the original.  But by taking the heart out of the film, you take out some of the urgency.  When Perseus finally faces down the Kraken, he's not doing it out of love for Andromeda, it's just another step towards his goal of taking on Hades.

 

Now for the 3D issue.  The main thing you need to know is that this film was not filmed in 3D.  It was all done after the fact and, apparently, pretty quickly and cheaply.  Unlike Avatar, which James Cameron always planned to show in 3D, this film is supposed to be seen in 2D.  That's how the shots are composed ... swords standing on end in the foreground are out of focus so the audience can concentrate on the characters in the background.  But with the 3D transfer anything that is even just a couple of inches toward or away from the audience is set to a different depth.  In one shot it even appeared that Perseus' ears were separated from his head.

 

It was like watching the entire film through a ViewMaster.  I even found myself closing one eye or taking off the glasses completely during some scenes because it was just too difficult to watch. 

 

Bottom line, I'm ready for more Greek mythology movies, but I'm leaving my 3D glasses behind.

Could someone PLEASE get those two crazy kids back together?

So Sun and Jin finally get their turn in the spotlight as we learn about their lives in the FlashSideways universe.  This time they are not married, but are still in love.  She is taking a shopping trip to Los Angeles (Seoul to LA by way of Sydney? Is that the best way? Someone get me a globe!) while he rides along as her bodyguard.  It was nice to see Sun and Jin with actual passion for each other ... something I don't think we've been shown since their intial flashbacks in the first season. I don't think there has been a hotter moment on the show than when Sun unbuttoned the top to buttons on her blouse. 

 

Alas, there's also work to be done.  Jin has also been assigned to deliver $25K and a watch to a business partner of Sun's father ... none other than Martin Keamy, the loan shark who had been threatening Sayid's brother.  When Keamy learns the money has been seized, he has one of his men take Sun to the bank to get more money, and hauls Jin to the restaurant.  It turns out the money wasn't for any loan ... it was payment from Sun's father for Keamy to kill Jin.  It appears daddy knew about the affair and wasn't happy.  He even cleaned out Sun's apparently not-so-secret bank account.

 

As we saw in the Sayid FlashSideways things don't end too well for Keamy.  Sayid shoots him and his henchmen, and finds Jin tied up in the restaurant's walk-in refrigerator.  He gives Jin a blade to cut himself loose, and leaves.  By the time Sun makes it to the restaurant Jin is free and shoots the last of Keamy's men, but not before a stray bullet hits Sun in the gut threatening (are you sitting down for the non-surprise?) her unborn child!  Dun, dun, dunnnn.

 

Meanwhile, on the island ... not much happens.  When MIB/Locke leaves camp to retrieve Sun and bring her back to Jin, Widmore's crew knocks out everyone in MIB/Locke's camp with tranquilizer darts, and kidnaps Jin.  They bring him back to Hydra island and show him pictures of the daughter he didn't know he had.   MIB/Locke is unsuccesful in getting Sun to go back with him ... she actually flees, hitting her head and losing her ability to speak English (a plot device more worthy of a daytime soap rather than this fine show ... I assume this will be dealt with soon.)  When MIB/Locke learns that Jin has been abducted he travels to Hydra island where he sees they have set up a sonic fence to keep him out.  He and Widmore exchange not-so-veiled threats and old-men-glares … I love those moments. 

 

We also learned what, or rather, who, Widmore was holding inside that padlocked room on the sub … IT’S DESMOND! What the heck?

 

Question time!

 

Why did Sayid say he can’t feel anything? I guess being drowned then brought back to life will do that to a guy. 

 

What did they do to poor Desmond?

 

I know Sun and Jin will finally get back together … but when? Am I the only one sick of hearing them pine for each other?

 

And … again … Sun can’t speak English after hitting her head?  Really?! REALLY!?

 

P.S.  Producer Damon Lindelof tweeted ‘In one week, the conversation is going to change.’ Exciting!

Hooray for the return of the Flashback!

This entry is a couple of days late, but there was a lot to take in. As I mentioned earlier, I’m still divided on the Flash Sideways storylines that have defined this season. They’re interesting but, up to this point at least, they’re kind of like listening to someone telling you about a dream they had the night before; it sounds like some interesting and cool things happened, but it doesn’t really matter.

But now we got a good ol’ fashioned Flashback, and it was one of the best episodes of the entire series. The flashback focused on Richard, the seemingly immortal island resident. This was also the first episode where the flashback was not interrupted by the action on the island, but considering Richard’s age, that’s understandable because there was a lot to say.

Once again, rather than recap, let’s take a look at what we learned.

We now know that Richard is about 170 years old; he appears to be in his mid-30’s when we first see him in 1867. He also has the most tragic pre-island life than any of the other castaways. Jack’s Daddy issues got nothing on Richard who witnesses his wife’s death, accidently kills the doctor who refused to save her, is sentenced to death, denied absolution by a priest and then sold into slavery.

Richard (or Ricardo as he is known back then) is chained in the hull of the Black Rock, which crashes onto the island, destroying the statue at the same time.

We are also getting a clearer idea of the ongoing battle between Jacob and the Man In Black. If Jacob is to be believed, he is the only thing keeping the MIB trapped on the island, preventing him from spreading his evil around the world. So here’s my new question (unless it’s already been answered), why does Jacob keep bringing ‘candidates’ to the island? Does he need help? Does he need to pass the baton onto a new watcher? Does he want someone to kill the MIB?

Obviously the MIB doesn't like the candidates, but apparently he can't kill them, sohe just creates chaos around them and watches as they kill each other. Perhaps that's the basis of the 'loophole' the MIB was looking for. After Ben killed Locke, MIB was able to take over his body because he was a candidate, and one of the few people able to get close enough to Jacob to ...

Okay, my head is starting to hurt. With fewer than 10 episodes to go I figure we can answer those questions later. Here are a few more questions that remain unresolved.

Who is Ilana, and why did Jacob ask her to escort the candidates back to the island? Why was she so badly injured, and why wouldn't Jacob touch her?

Who are the 'Adam and Eve' skeletons?

Also … when the MIB smashed Jacob’s wine bottle, was that foreshadowing that he was going to find a different way off the island, or was he just frustrated? Maybe a bit of both? Was he just being a jerk?

Why can't the Smoke Monster cross the Sonic Fence or lines of ash? Will we ever get to see MIB/Locke actually turn into the Smoke Monster? I have a feeling it would be real cheesy, but I still want to see it!

 

The end is near ...

I'm going to go out on the limb and predict the death of a major character.  This is just speculation, and I may be way off base, but here we go.

 

RIP Sayid Jarrah.

 

You heard me!  Of course, I guess I'm already right considering that Sayid was already dead once this season, but I'm talking dead-dead, not Locke-dead, if you get my meaning. 

 

So why Sayid? In this week's episode we finally got a chance to see the darkness inside the Wacky Iraqi.  For the entire series we knew it was there, but he kept supressing those instincts, even going so far as banishing himself to the other side of the island after he tortured Sawyer in season 1.   This season Dogen, the keeper of the temple, warned Jack there was a darkness building inside Sayid but it looks like it was there the entire time.  As evidence, look at Sayid in the real-world ... he didn't hesitate to kill the men who beat his brother and threatened his childhood-love Nadia ... and that was after Oceanic Flight 815 landed safely!   On the island Sayid not only drowned Dogen, but slashed the interpreters throat in one of the most cold-blooded moments on the show since the death of Rousseau's daughter. 

 

Of course Dogen kind of had it coming considering he had tried to have Sayid killed three times before ... but the interpreter?  Wow!  And before you could even catch your breath, Locke/MIB tore through the temple in all his Smoke Monster fury killing everyone who didn't heed Sayid's warning to leave before sundown.  The final shot of Locke/MIB walking away with his army of recruits solidifies the idea that evil is winning in the battle for control of the island.

Now back to my original prediction ... why will Sayid die?  It's the Hollywood way.  The general rule is that no character that kills in cold-blood will go unpunished.  In fact, next week's promo is teasing the end of Ben, the biggest mass murderer on the island. I'm sure Sayid will have some sort of redemption, and his death will come at a moment of self-sacrifice to save the lives of others ... but he's doomed for sure.  Of course, Lost has never really followed formula, and the creators have changed their minds before in the wake of fan disapproval (sorry Paulo and Nikki), but I don't think they have time to change course just in order to prove one blogger wrong.  So dust off your black suit ... it's time to say goodbye.

 

Or maybe I'm just wrong.

Aha! So that's what the numbers mean ... I don't get it.

Aha! So that's what the numbers mean ... I don't get it.

 

So this week we got another peek into that weird parallel universe to see what happened to Locke after Oceanic Flight 815 landed at LAX.   The hits just keep on coming for John, who still can't seem to accept that he is probably going to be in that wheelchair for the rest of his life. He insisted on trying to go on that walkabout, he refuses to park in handicap spaces ... the one thing that might make a difference is the one thing he is too scared to do, call Jack for a consult.  Oh, well, at least he gets a lot of support from his fiance (always nice to see you Katie Sagal!)

Meanwhile, on the island we learn that Locke/MIB is looking for a little help to get into the temple.  I was thrilled, and a bit creeped out, with the brilliant POV sequence of flying around as the Smoke Monster, complete with the SM seeing its own reflection in the window.   Locke/MIB goes back into the jungle, hoping to recruit Richard, but it seems the ageless Other doesn't like being beaten up and held hostage 10 feet off the ground in a canvas bag.  Locke/MIB then goes to visit the still-mourning Sawyer who is getting drunk in Dharmaville.   He lures him out with the promise of showing him the reason he is on the island.

 

But, of course, this is Lost, answers only beget more questions.

 

He leads Sawyer to a cliff-side cave, presumably Jacob's hideout.  Inside is a scale balanced with one white rock and one black rock.  Locke/MIB upsets the balance by tossing the white rock into the ocean ... get it? GET IT?  DON'T YOU GET IT!?!?!?!  It's subtle as a heart attack, really, but I laughed when Sawyer asked what he was doing and Locke/MIB responded, 'It's an inside joke.'

 

So we see that Jacob has been listing candidates who, apparently, can take over his job as island participants.  Here's the names, along with THE NUMBERS!: 4-Locke; 8-Reyes; 15-Ford; 16-Jarrah; 23-Shephard; 42-Kwon. I get it!  That’s where the numbers came from that answers … almost nothing. Harrumph.

 

Now for the new questions … why isn't Kate or Claire on the list? Who’s the bloody blonde kid that can only be seen by Locke/MIB and Sawyer. And could you imagine studying European History with Ben as your teacher?

There’s something taking over Sayid, and it looks like it’s a bit of a coward!

Now that the final season of Lost is underway, I have to say I’m still compelled but not as much as in previous seasons. The show’s brilliant flashback-flash forward storytelling device was perfect. In the first four seasons we saw what happened in the castaways’ past, and how it dictated the way they handle the island’s mysteries in the present. Then in season five we saw how the actions on the island affected everything the Oceanic 6 did once they returned to the real world.

But now we’ve got the flash-sideways, a peek into what might have happened if Flight 815 had made it safely into LAX … but there’s a sort of disconnect. These characters are the same, but they’re a little bit different. In the premiere we saw what appeared to be a ’mirror’ universe where Hurley considers himself the luckiest guy on earth, Rose was calm, Jack was a bit panicky and Sawyer was actually a nice guy warning him of scam artists (unless that’s just the set up for another scam … I guess we’ll see the answer to that sometime this season.) However, Kate is still the murder-suspect-with-a-heart-of-gold and Claire is still the freaked out pregnant girl … and whatever they do in this reality has almost nothing to do with what is happening simultaneously on the island.

I think … right?

I’m sure I’ll look back on this blog entry at then end of the season (meaning it the page will have been visited at least twice!) and shake my head saying, ‘you poor naïve, fool, you had no idea what was coming.’ But, just like the castaways, I can’t see the future and know the cool, tragic, mind-bending twists that are sure to come, so I can only react in the now.

Okay … now for the weird stuff.

I’m going to have to check my season 1 DVD, but I don’t remember Sayid sounding so pathetic when he was being tortured by The French Woman. I’ll assume that whatever took over his body at the end of the premiere is the real coward*.

Also, what’s up with the Dharma residents popping up in the parallel universe? Ethan Rom playing doctor to Claire’s baby?

Is it just me or is something really weird going on here?

(* When I say coward I mean in relation to Sayid ’Torture Master For the Iraqi Guard’ Jarrah … I would have been screaming when the Japanese guy blew the dust over his chest, and totally lost it when the electrodes and hot poker were brought out.)